Non-sports fan lives on — and over — the edge

• Tuesday, Oct. 6, was MLB T-shirt Day at work, and a dressing dilemma for myself.
• What was I going to wear? So far, baseball — and MLB T-shirt Day — weren't being very, very good to me.
• Out of clothing ideas, I brought my dilemma to Facebook.
• 'Does a NY Jets sweatshirt count as an MLB shirt?' I posted.

The following takes place between 5 a.m. and 6 a.m. (said in my best Kiefer Sutherland “24” voice):

As I was sipping my first of seven cups of coffee of the morning on Tuesday, Oct. 6, I remembered that it was MLB T-shirt Day at work.

"MLB?" I thought to myself as I sipped my coffee. "What the blankety-blank? Isn't the MLB observance in January?"

No, wait, that's MLK — Martin Luther King — Day.

Have some more coffee, Brad, I ordered myself.

I sipped some more of my coffee and went back to trying to decipher the secret code in my head before I self-destructed in 10 minutes.

Oh, the pressure. Especially when I'm not even finished with my first cup of coffee.

What my semi-awake brain came up with:

• Majorly Loose Boxers? No, that can't be it. And, even if it was, I wouldn't participate. There's enough horror in the world.
• Macho Leather Boots? Could be, but I don't own leather boots. (And now it's going to take me at least an hour to get the Village People's "Macho Man" out of my head.).

Being a self-professed, non-sports nut, it took me a minute to remember that MLB was short for "Major League Baseball."

Duh.

And, considering I am a self-professed, non-sports nut, I faced an even bigger dilemma. What was I going to wear? So far, baseball — and MLB T-shirt Day — weren't being very, very good to me.

Cue the "24" theme music. 

Don't you just hate cliffhangers?

♦

The following takes place between 6 and 7 a.m. (again in my best Keifer Sutherland voice. Eat your heart out, Rich Little).

After some consideration, I decided I was going to go with my New York Jets sweat shirt. But, then I realized that wouldn’t work for MLB T-shirt Day.

I would have to save that for NHL T-shirt Day.

Like I said: I'm no sports nut.

Out of clothing ideas, patience and any kind of medication, I did what I always do when I am going through just such an ordeal. I brought it to Facebook.

"Does a NY Jets sweatshirt count as an MLB shirt?" I posted.

While I didn't receive an answer to my query — or any offers to borrow someone's MLB shirt for the day (hey, I'm on the T-shirt committee at work, what kind of example would I be setting if I didn't show up in one?) — I did receive some important advice.

My friend, Laura Wyld of Pepperell, Massachusetts, gently reminded me I was about to step foot in New England Patriots territory soon for my 30th high school class reunion.

"It might be a good idea to leave that at home when you come up." she advised of the New York Jets sweat shirt. "Just trying to save you a little hassle."

So noted. I was hassled enough just trying to find something to wear to work without inciting an NFL — or MLB or NHL — riot.

I told Laura I would heed her advice and stay away from the Jets sweat shirt. I'd go out and buy a New York Yankees shirt before my trip up north.

While that might work in these parts (switching to my best John Wayne voice), it's probably not the best thing to wear in Boston Red Sox land.

"Ahahaha living on the edge," Laura responded.

On the edge? I've been over the edge for quite some time now.

Brad Wadlow's "Over the Edge" column appears Fridays. Follow him on Twitter: @BradWadlowMyCJ.